The Missing Interview - Rick Grimes edition
by Crimson Anna
Summary: For everyone who has been clamoring to know what Rick told Deanna to set up what Deanna told Beth ... well, here you go!


_If that's all, I need to go check on my kids._

"Wait a moment Rick, there's one more thing I'd like to discuss with you."

Running his hands over his pants legs, he stares at her for a long moment. _What now is so important. I have told you everything you wanted to know and hear._

"It's not something, it's who … I would like to talk about Beth."

 _What about her?_

"She important to you isn't she."

 _Of course she is, everyone in the group is important._

"Yes but she seems to be more important than the others … except for maybe Carl and Judith."

 _Are you implying there is something going on between the two of us?_

"Isn't there?"

 _She's 19 years old, her sister is with us … why would there be anything going on?_

"She takes care of your daughter, and I saw how protective you were of both of them."

 _It's natural, she's taken over the role of Judith's mother since Lori died._

"I understand that, but yet … there's something more."

 _I don't like where this is going._ He rises and walks over to the window peering outside. _Can we please just finish this so I can leave._

"All right, let me put this in terms you will understand: when referring to Beth at least on three different times, you told me she was: a) your wife and b) Judith's mother, as in you are married to her and she is Judith's biological mother. Is that correct or not?"

 _No it is not … Judith is my daughter by my dead wife Lori. If I led you to that impression, then please forgive me._

"There's nothing to forgive, you love her."

 _Fine, can I leave now?_

"Be honest with me Rick." Reaching over, she pressed 'pause' on the camera. "Are you in love with Beth, a simple yes or no will suffice."

"Why does it interest you so, so you can turn it against me later?"

"Actually, we're not filming right now."

He noticed the button down on the camera. "Why?"

"There are times when I have private conversations with people I don't want the others to know about. This is one of them."

Moistening his lips, he looks around. "Could I have something to drink, preferably alcoholic, if we're going to have this discussion."

Getting up, Deanna walks over and pours both of them a glass of amber liquid. Picking up the glasses, she walks over and hands it to him. "Whiskey."

"Much obliged." He takes the glass from her and takes a long drink.

"Rick, I would never use someone's feelings for another person against them. Life is too precious as it is, and for you to have this sort of connection to her … it's beautiful. I can see that Beth is very very special to you, and I don't think it was a slip on your part at all. I think that, over time, Beth has become your wife and the mother of your child. It might not be formal or anything of that nature, but it is there. I saw the way she cradled Judith when she came through the gates, I saw how she kept a watch on how you were reacting. I even saw her take your hand to reassure not just you but herself. She is a bright young woman that I would love to get to know. I will interview her later, but don't worry I won't tell her about this."

He paused for a moment. "You can turn the camera back on if you want." Finishing the whiskey, he sets the glass down and returns to his seat. "Where do you want me to begin?"

Reaching over, she presses the button and sits back. "Start wherever you want … and I promise it won't leave this recording. I might even delete it."

 _The first time I met her, it was on the farm right after Carl got shot by accident. She came downstairs to tell me Hershel, her father, needed to speak to me. She had this doe-eyed look of innocence, showing how the world hadn't touched her like the rest of us. She had this long blonde hair, bright blue eyes and I kept telling myself what I was feeling for her was something I could never act on. Her father was caring for my boy, he was letting us stay on his farm and live there without truly wanting anything from us. As the time passed, Beth and I grew closer; she asked me to teach her how to shoot, which Hershel agreed to. We got to spend more time together, and I found I was craving the attention she was giving me. Lori and I were having problems that were held over from before, and it hadn't gotten any better … I had a false hope that once we were back together as a family things would change but they never did. Her genuine care and concern for how I was, for how Carl was, showed through her in ways I never thought I would see again._

 _After the farm fell and we had to go on the road, Beth was there helping out in quiet ways … making sure nothing got left behind, making sure we all took time to rest, keeping an eye on Carl. It took a load off me, and I told her once how much I appreciated it. After we found the prison, things began to steamroll from there. Maggie was with Lori when she went into labor, had to cut Judith from her or they both would've died. I lost my mind when Lori died, and there was this beautiful helpless baby who needed me and I couldn't handle it. That's when Beth stepped in and took over; she started caring for Judith like she was her own, always there with her always tending her every need. When I got back in my right mind, I realized I craved the attention she had shone me on the farm more and more. I never acted on it due to her age, but she must've known somehow that I needed her because she began taking care of me AND Judith in ways I could never imagine. She would always bring Judith to me at night and would lay her in my arms. She would tell me how Judith had done during the day, small things that a mother would do but those small things kept adding up over time._

 _I remember one time, she came running over to me and grabbed my hand. As small as she is, she practically drug me over to where Judith was and sat me down. I didn't understand at the moment, then I watched as my baby girl began to sit up on her own without help. Beth was all giggly and happy, hugging me and talking about how Judith would start to crawl soon and how much she would be a terror when she learned to walk. In that moment, I fell in love with her. I remember putting my arm around her and pulling her down beside me, kissing her cheek and telling her that it would take both of us to look after Judith from then on. She agreed and kissed me back, not on the cheek but on the lips. It was a sweet little kiss, of which I saw her father watching us so I backed off a bit. I kept her at arms length emotionally, but I always made sure to keep her close by my side when danger was around. I would tell her in passing that I loved her and she would say she loved me too but I never put any weight to it. I always noticed how both Hershel and Maggie kept their attention on us, like they were afraid I might do something to her. I couldn't tell either one of them they had nothing to worry about because I loved her. If Hershel had found out my true feelings for her, I was afraid he would take her away from Judith and I, especially me. I was always afraid she would be taken away and I would never see her again, never allow myself to be near her again or to talk to her or to love her from afar. That did happen and I kick myself all the time for not saying anything to her now that she's back with us._

"Why were you afraid of Hershel and what he would think? I thought you two were close, even becoming best friends and kindred spirits of a sort."

 _We had and were still working on it, but Beth was HIS family, HIS youngest daughter and I saw how he tried to keep her sheltered from things even at the prison. He would never let her go on runs, would never let her out of his sight, would barely let her socialize with people. Part of me even wondered how far he would go to protect her._

"Do you think he would have killed for her?"

 _Killed for her, oh most definitely; killed her to keep her safe, yea I was afraid he might do that too. I asked him about it one time, and he said it was none of my concern._

"I would have made it my concern."

 _And I did, and it bothered the hell out of him. I would be on guard for her, keeping an eye on her even when she was around people we knew and trusted. I know Maggie told me one time to back off her sister and let her breathe. I told her that I took care of Beth just like she was one of my own, and with her caring for Judith, it just made it that much more so. Maggie spoke to Hershel after that and for a day or two, Beth wasn't allowed around me and Judith._

"So that didn't sit well. What happened to let them let her back near you?"

 _She did it on her own, not asking anyone's permission or what have you. I remember the day actually that it happened: it had been extremely hot one day and I had sweated so much that I had almost stopped sweating. I felt horrible, I hadn't had much sleep and I was still trying to cope with Lori being gone and having to care for Judith and Carl on my own. I got sick that night, bad sick, throwing up and could hardly hold my head up. I thought I was going to die because I was so run down, but during the night at some point Beth came to my cell and started taking care of me. She would wipe me down with cold cloths, help me drink water, made me some soup, did everything a wife would do while her husband was sick. I tried to push her away so she wouldn't get sick, but she would never leave me, would never leave my side. I was down for almost three days, but there was Beth, taking care of me AND Judith at the same time. Every time Hershel would come to get her, she would turn and just glare at him, giving him these looks of steel and rage that I didn't know she had in her. He finally got the hint and backed down, and from then on things were back to the way they were originally._

"Tell me how you lost her, you mentioned that a moment ago."

 _The last time the Governor attacked, we got scattered from the prison. I never saw Beth but I found Judith's empty car seat covered in blood. My heart sank, I thought my baby girl was dead. Later on, Carl and I reunited with Michonne then Daryl. He said Beth had been with him, but was gone … just like that. Someone had taken her away, she wasn't dead or turned … she was just gone. A part of me wanted to find those people and kill them, but things happened. It was long after that I found Judith alive with Tyreese, Sasha's brother, and Carol. I had never been so happy in all my life to have her back, and that's when I decided it was time to find Beth. I kept planning in the back of my mind what I would do to those people, and it soon came true. A couple of days after we escaped Terminus, Daryl came back to camp with this boy named Noah. He told us he had escaped from a hospital in downtown Atlanta with the help of a blonde named Beth. Well, that's all it took for me to get a plan together and go after her. We made our way to Atlanta, found the hospital and went after Beth. We learned Carol had been taken there as well, so we got to Carol first. I heard my name so I went down the hall, looking in rooms; as I did, Beth came walking down and this woman named Dawn, the head of the joint, tried to shoot her. I stepped out from my spot, shot Dawn between the eyes and took the bullet for Beth in my shoulder. Once we were on the road, Beth kept tending to my shoulder, working on it bits at a time till she got the bullet out and stitched me up. I made myself a promise after that I would never let anyone take her from me EVER, but then I realized I was being selfish and acting the way Hershel had._

"Selfish how, you love her."

 _I realized that being overly protective of her could drive Beth away, then I came to another realization when we met a group of younger people. Beth seemed to enjoy having people her own age to talk to and it hurt me to think I was holding her back. I also thought how could she ever love me after some of the things I had done. When that group asked her to go with them, I told her we would be fine if she wanted to leave. She made her decision to stay, and I was proud of her but I still wondered if she wouldn't have been better off. After they were gone for a day or so, I heard her crying off to herself and went to check on her. She was finally letting go of the death of her father, and what had happened to her in Grady. I still don't know all the details but it must've been pretty bad for her to get those cuts on her face._

"Do you worry about her still, I mean do you worry she could have a breakdown?"

 _She's already had one, she's got a scar on her left wrist where she tired to commit suicide but changed her mind._

"She came back from that, and you were there for her."

 _We all were, but yea I was there too. I would go and talk to her, try to encourage her to keep moving on with her life no matter what was happening around her. I guess it stuck finally._

Reaching over, Deanna turned the camera off and leaned forward. "Rick, I thank you for being so blunt and honest with me about how you feel for Beth. Maybe it's time you took your own advice and told her how you really feel."

"I don't know if I could or not."

"She needs you and you need her. You don't need to be alone and neither does she. She's bright, warm, this breath of fresh air. There aren't many young people here, most of them are Carl's age so she is going to need someone to be by her side as she makes her way in our community. I hope you decide to be there with her."

"You have two sons her age, wouldn't you want to see one of them with her?"

"Hell no! My boys are two egotistical narcissistic jackasses," Deanna laughed. "I should know, they take more after me than their father. Beth is one of those young people who has not let this world jade her to the point of being overly reactive. She has a bright optimistic outlook still, and there are people here who would love a chance to take advantage of her … if you get my meaning. There are wolves in these walls."

"They could wind up dead too," Rick snorted.

"Think about what we've talked about and figure out how to approach Beth in your own way and your own time all right."

"I will think about it and thank you for the whiskey."

"Rick, one more thing before you go," Deanna spoke as he reached the door, "I think Beth would love you no matter what you've done. I think because of all you've done for her, in her mind that would outweigh everything else. Just give her a chance and let her make her own decision."

"I will think about it," he spoke and stepped outside. Heading down the steps, he walked over to where the others were gathered. "Beth, can I speak to you for a moment."

"Yea sure," she smiled as they stepped away.

"I am going to be working closely with Deanna to give our group a voice here. I might need to rely on you more to take care of Judith. Would you consider moving in with Carl and I?"

"I'll have to think about it for a little bit. Maggie wants me to stay with her and Glenn till I find my own way here. If Deanna doesn't need me for anything, I would love to do it."

"All right then," Rick smiled and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Is everything all right?"

"It's going to be, it has to right."

"I am here for you no matter what. You can always lean on me."

Smiling, he leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead, which didn't go unnoticed by Maggie.


End file.
